𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬? 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 '𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬'!

Have you noticed how sometimes the key to solving a behavioural problem lies not in focusing on the problem itself, but in those moments when the problem 𝒘𝒂𝒔𝒏’𝒕 there?

Imagine your kid who, usually refuses to eat his vegetables. Every mealtime is a battleground. But sometimes, he happily devours a bowl of palak paneer. What happened then? Did his favourite cartoon play during dinner? Did his grandmother tell him a story? Did you see him helping his dad in the garden growing spinach earlier that day? Maybe it was a combination of these things!

Your kid throws a tantrum every time you’re at a family wedding. The noise, the crowd, the overstimulation—it’s a meltdown waiting to happen. But then, you notice that at the last wedding, they were surprisingly calm. What was different? Maybe they were busy playing with their cousins, or perhaps they had their favourite snack in hand. That moment of calm holds the clue! It tells you that distraction or a familiar comfort can help avoid the meltdown.

Similarly, in a work scenario, think of a team struggling with project delays. But one particular project, they delivered ahead of schedule. What changed? Was it a clear communication channel? Was there a sense of ownership and autonomy? Did they have a fun, impromptu chai break that boosted morale?

Those “good days” are like little treasure maps—they show you the path to better behaviour.

Here’s another example: Ever wondered why your dog barks non-stop at the doorbell but stays quiet sometimes? Think about those rare moments of silence. Maybe the delivery guy came at a time when your dog was busy chewing on a treat or playing with a toy. That’s your clue! Next time the doorbell rings, distract your furry friend with their favourite toy, and —peace restored.

The point is, instead of obsessing over the problem, shift your focus to the times when the problem 𝒘𝒂𝒔𝒏’𝒕 there. Those moments are like little hints from the universe, showing you what works. It’s like solving a mystery—you just have to pay attention to the clues!

The key is to pay attention to these "𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧" moments. Ask yourself:

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭? (Was it calmer? More structured? More fun?)

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲? (Were they more engaged? More relaxed? More collaborative?)

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭? (No distractions? Clear instructions? A sense of purpose?)

So, the next time you’re stuck with a behavioural issue—whether it’s your child, your pet, or even yourself—take a step back and ask: 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭? 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧? You might just find the solution hiding in plain sight