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Writer's pictureSreedhar Mandyam

All divorced people are not itching to get hitched again



Those who are single in society fall into different categories. Those who never got married (either by choice or for other reasons), those who lost their partners to death and the last category those who are divorced. Society treats each group differently. Most people don’t understand those who chose to remain single and leave them alone after some time. Those who wanted to get married but couldn't due to circumstances are looked on with pity and again left alone after they have crossed a certain age. People who lost their partners to death are looked at with lots of sympathies and again left alone unless they are very young and the marriage was very brief. In such cases, attempts are made to get them married again.


Those who are divorced are treated very differently. It is assumed that they are looking for new partners. Whether the divorce was their choice or was thrust on them, these people have a lot on their plate to deal with. They have challenges on hand - getting their finances in order, looking for new work opportunities, handling the visitation rights or coping with single parenting, handling social situations etc. Divorce is also a loss and many need time to cope with the new normal. If the marriage had been a long one, it may need a greater amount of time to adjust to the new reality.


All divorced people are not itching to get hitched again immediately. If the marriage had been abusive or divorce came about because of their partner's infidelity, these people find it difficult to trust others easily. They are wary of new relationships. If you could not trust a married partner of years, whom can you trust? Their worldview of a safe place could have changed. If it was a bad marriage, they might be relieved to be alone. Many would like to breathe the fresh free air without constantly living up to a role or another person's expectations. Some may even be cured of marriage forever.


It is vital that those around them give them the space to process the important event of divorce and separation. No matter what happened or how the divorce came about, there is a wound to be healed, a pain to be processed and soul damage to be soothed. That needs time and space in large quantities. When the person is ready and wants to - if at all - others can step in to play the cupid. The world is big and broad and there is a place under the sun for those who wish to continue their lives as singles. Let us respect that too.

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